Recently I decided to finally go back to work after taking an almost three month break. Now it may shock some people that I'm working at a bowling alley, but I really do like it for the most part. Is my degree being wasted? For now, yes it is. But this isn't a career it's just something I'm doing until I figure my shit out.
Now like I said I do like working there, but there are just something that bother/ annoy the employees so here are 13 useful things to keep in mind when you go bowling.
13 Things to Consider while at a Bowling Alley
1. Carry your own damn balls back to the rack. You got them yourself. You're definitely capable of putting them back on your own.
2. Your smelly shoes do not get returned at the snack bar counter! This should need no explanation.
3. With that said, make sure you have socks if using house shoes. They are PUBLIC shoes.
4. If you call Ketchup "sweetener sauce" don't get angry if the bar tender doesn't know what condiment you're talking about. Last time I checked ketchup isn't exactly sweet.
5. Keep your kiddies (and yourself) off the lanes! The lanes are oiled therefore slippery as fuck! You will get hurt, if you go down far enough you will DIE! The machine doesn't know you're not a ball. It's not fun having to reboot the whole system because of an emergency shut down to save your stupid ass.
6. Yes, the (my) bowling alley has a bar. Just because it's in a bowling alley doesn't mean the rules change. If you don't have an ID it's your own fault you're not being served. Do not get angry with me. And yes my manager will say the same thing.
7. Unattended children will be given to the Goblin King…. No joke. 2. Your smelly shoes do not get returned at the snack bar counter! This should need no explanation.
3. With that said, make sure you have socks if using house shoes. They are PUBLIC shoes.
4. If you call Ketchup "sweetener sauce" don't get angry if the bar tender doesn't know what condiment you're talking about. Last time I checked ketchup isn't exactly sweet.
5. Keep your kiddies (and yourself) off the lanes! The lanes are oiled therefore slippery as fuck! You will get hurt, if you go down far enough you will DIE! The machine doesn't know you're not a ball. It's not fun having to reboot the whole system because of an emergency shut down to save your stupid ass.
6. Yes, the (my) bowling alley has a bar. Just because it's in a bowling alley doesn't mean the rules change. If you don't have an ID it's your own fault you're not being served. Do not get angry with me. And yes my manager will say the same thing.
8. No, I do not know where the bathroom is. I’ve only worked here for over a year but I’ve never seen it, it’s very elusive. Also if you just opened your eyes you’d see the restroom sign and wouldn’t have to ask me, “Do you know where the bathroom is?”
9. Yes, you’re allowed to pick your own bowling ball, that’s why they’re out on display for you. If you need it I’d be glad to help you find the right bowling ball for you i.e. finger size and weight. But the bowling balls are never going to just magically show up on your lane. Also for those that feel compelled to ask if you’re allowed to choose any ball, no, you’re not just because you asked.
10. Let me stress the point that you’re at a bowling alley, not a night club… or gentleman’s club for that matter. There’s no need to wear a mini skirt. You bend when you bowl we don’t wanna see your ass, or anything else. And leave the stripper boots at home. Once again bowling alley, you don’t need five inch heels.
11. Food at AMF bowling alleys run around the same price as movie theater food. Also it's not worth the price we charge for it. Just keep that in mind. Also don't mess with people that deal with the food. Have you seen Waiting??? That's stuff is true. I've seen flies purposefully mixed into someone drink... it's not pretty.
12. You are allowed to have food and drinks down near where you're bowling. BUT not in the sitting area near the approach. If something is spilled and stepped in with bowling shoes, those shoes are now ruined!! They will not slide anymore if they get wet.
13. Lastly you are there to have fun. Right? Otherwise why would you come pay a gazillion dollars to bowl? Employees are friendly and helpful, as long as you're also courteous. You're only there for a couple hours at most, we're there every day all day. It gets tiring after a while, especially when people don't follow the rules for safe bowling.
I realize this post may seem pompous and mean but it's how all AMF employees feel at one point or another. And I have to get it out some how. It's not like I can just go on a rampage and scream at my customers ;p
